Merlin's Heart
by Kvanvoorhis79
Summary: Addy, a tough, modern Londoner, is in for the shock of her life when she falls into a cave of crystals and is thrown back in time to Camelot. There, she will find a destiny she had never imagined possible, and a love she had never expected. Will she be able to stay with Merlin in the past, or will fate have other plans? Includes events from Season 5 finale.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello everyone! I'm glad you glanced at my story. I would appreciate any honest reviews. Also, I anticipate this to be fairly longish (2 sequels after this), and I will try to adhere to the established storyline as much as possible, although I have taken some artistic liberties. I look forward to hearing from you!**

**Also, Disclaimer: I don't own any of the right's to Merlin, but you probably knew that already.**

Merlin's Heart-Chapter 1

It had been far too long since Addy had gone on a proper vacation. She needed a break from work, from the craziness of London, from her life. _Just a few days of hiking and I know I'll feel better, __it always used to make me feel better_, she thought as she packed up her Jetta and began her trip west. _Life here is just too clausterphobic, to confining._ How long had it been since she had gone back to the woodlands she had grown up in? Two years? Five? More? She just couldn't remember.

As the congestion of the city began to slowly give way to open farmland and small villages, she felt herself begin to relax. The sun shone agreeably in her rearview mirror. the cars she passed seemed to whip by with childlike energy. The farther away she got, the better she felt. However, it wasn't always like this. She remembered her youth, how she couldn't wait to get out of the small little hamlet on the edge of the hill-strewn forest. How narrow-minded everyone had seemed to her then. _I'll go off to the city and never look back_, she had thought. How naïve! London was far less the sophisticated city she had imagined and far more of the scurrying, frantic jungle she had feared. She desperately needed to get away.

It was only midday when she finally arrived outside the forest hiking trail she had often traversed in her youth. Really, not much had changed. It was slightly more overgrown and slightly less looked-after. But then, this place had always been out-of-the-way. That was precisely why she loved it. She unpacked her gear from her car, and doubled checked that she had all the important stuff with her: mobile, GPS, rations of water and food, trail map, first aid kit, extra socks, poncho, and a lighter. She didn't really expect to need any of it, save the water and food. She had planned on hiking a couple of hours just to get the feel of the place again, to get the smell of the city out of her clothes. Then, she would return tomorrow for a real journey. She smiled and felt the sun warm her face. No cars here, no people bumping into you, nothing but the wind and the birds. She could breathe here.

She wasn't even winded when the sun started dipping below the tree line. That was her internal signal to return to her car. Spotting a large rock jutting out of the forest floor, she climbed up to get a seat on top. She emptied her pack's contents on top of the rock and studied the GPS to try to figure the best way back. Turning on her mobile to check the time, she jumped when a very loud branch crashed nearby, causing her to lose her grip on the phone. It slid down the side of the rock and disappeared into a small fissure at the base. Cursing, she rushed down the rock face to retrieve it.

As she hit the bottom of the rock, the ground at the base, which had looked solidly covered with weeds and dead twigs, suddenly fell apart under her. Before she could cry out, she was falling, sucked into the earth beneath the boulder. She scrambled to find a hand grip in the rock she had just slid down, but couldn't stop her sudden, rushing decent into the earth. Her feet jostled underneath her as they sought to stay on top of the wave of loose pebbles and sandy silt that was plummeting her down. She grasped desperately at every twig and fissure in the soil, but the momentum wouldn't let her stop. The rocky ground scraped and bruised her, until at last, she slid to an abrupt halt. Tumbling forward violently into a dark cavern, she felt her leg twist painfully underneath her and she shrieked.

The sound of her cry echoed in the empty cave and she sensed that it wasn't as large as she had feared. There was a very small pinprick of light coming from the shaft she had just fallen through, but not enough of it to see very far in. It was cold down here, and damp, and instantly fear rose in her chest. She picked herself up shakily, her leg feeling very sore and useless but not broken. Brushing back the long, dark hair that had come loose from her elastic, she hopped forward to the edge of the shaft and peered up.

_I fell through that?_ She thought sickeningly. She could barely see the top, some 20 meters above her. The shaft ran downward at a very steep angle, and she sincerely doubted her ability to climb back out that way on her own.

"Dammit!" She exclaimed and turned back to the cave that had trapped her. Off in the distance, she saw a glint of something on the debris-strewn rock. Hopping forward on her good foot, she nudged at the item and her heart leapt into her throat. It was her mobile! _ Thank God_, she thought, as she picked it up and turned it on. It was working, but predictably, there was no signal. "Fat lotta good your gonna do me!" She said to it, turning it off and sliding it into her pocket. She cursed again for leaving the bag with all of her supplies on top of the rock. _ There has to be a way out of here,_ she reasoned. _Just calm down, don't panic, and find it! _She pushed away all negative thoughts about dying and starvation far, far back into her mind. She would not allow herself to think that way.

After she had explored the exterior of the cave, using the wall to balance herself on, all she could determine was that it was long and not very tall. But it was also more or less empty, free from any wild animals or other dangers. She hobbled on hoping desperately that it would open up into the forest at any second.

Just as she was beginning to think about turning around and trying to crawl up the shaft, she noticed a smallish glow of light in the distance. It was a several meters in front of her and she scrambled forward quickly as best she could. Her leg was aching fiercely now and she had bitten back the tears several times when she had stumbled on the unseen and uneven path. _Could the light be the way out?_

The light grew brighter as she neared, illuminating the cave around her in a soft, golden glow. For the first time, she could clearly see the walls of the tunnel. They weren't solid rock after all. They were made of a translucent crystals that caught the light ahead and radiated it back. She felt like she was in a room made of pale sunlight. The source of the light was just ahead now, and she noticed that it was coming not from outside the cave, but from a single crystal in the edge of the wall. Its glow pulsed and changed colors randomly to its own irregular rhythm. _What could be making it do that?_ Addy wondered. Strangely, it wasn't the least bit frightening to her. It was beautiful. The colors were friendly, muted, and warm. She felt safe by it, like it was protecting her. Reaching out to touch it, the colors suddenly swirled and collided into a single image. A face. A man's face. She became very still. A curious sense of déjà vu washed over her. _That dark hair, those icy eyes. I know that face. But how?_

Her hand reached forward, reached out to the crystal rock and the face of the man, and suddenly light erupted all around her. It blinded her and threw her backward, as the sound of thunderous waves filled her ears. Battering her backward, the sound of the ocean pounded in her head. She could feel herself falling but never landing. Her stomach rolled and flipped as all sensation of place and gravity fled. The roaring noise of pulsing water only got louder and more painful. She could feel herself screaming.

At last, it all became too much, and she succumbed to blackness.


	2. Chapter 2

Merlin's Heart-Chapter 2

"Well, hello there, pretty miss." A voice called out to her in the blackness.

Addy blinked her eyes open and sat up. Once the dizziness settled, she barely had time to register that she was now lying on the forest floor with the sunlight pouring in through the trees before two men on horseback assailed her. Actually, not just any two men. Two men in armour and chain-mail, with red cloaks tied about their throats.

A perfectly stubbled, dark-haired man with an impertinent smile jumped from his horse and stood staring at her, bemused. However, despite his amusement, he continued to keep his hand resting on the hilt of his (_W__ait, _Addy gasped_, was that REAL) sword?_ "Hello," the man said lightly, with more than a hint of amusement. "And what in the world are you doing out here, dressed like that?"

The other man, taller, much broader in shoulder, and far less amused by her, continued to encircle them on his horse. He studied her seriously, as if she might jump up and attack the two armed strangers at any moment. Addy looked down at her clothes. Her jacket was ripped from the fall, but her hiking shorts were still in good shape, as were her tennis shoes. Her right leg, now that she could see it in the sunlight, was cut and scraped and had a rather serious bruise forming on the calf. She doubted she could stand, let alone run, if these oddly-dressed men wanted to harm her. Still, she was from the city, and no stranger to dealing with overly aggressive men.

She smiled weakly and put on her best 'innocent victim' face. She tried to pitch her voice up like a child's. "I'm sorry. I seem to have gotten lost. Could you kind gentlemen help me get back to my car?" She hated hearing herself play the "little lost girl" routine, but she knew from experience that it usually worked.

The dark-haired one instantly stood at ease, but the bulkier one on the horse was more wary. He cleared his throat and addressed his comrade. "Gwaine, what if she's a spy? I mean, think about it. She's out here, close to the border, it could be a trap."

The one called Gwaine merely looked her up and down...well, mostly down. Then, he said, still smiling, but trying to sound authoritative, "Who are you? Why are you out here alone?"

She sighed. She didn't want to tell them about her leg, it might let them think she was weak and could be taken advantage of, but she didn't have much of a choice. "My name's Addy Singleton. I was out here, hiking in the woods, when I fell and hurt my leg. I just need a phone or a lift. Okay?" She finished a bit harsher than she was anticipating. She desperately hoped it wouldn't set them off.

"Cheeky, isn't she?" Gwaine said to the bulky one. He turned back to her, his eyes less playful and more worried. "I have no idea what a lady would be doing 'hiking', only soldiers do that. Maybe Percival is right." He turned back to the man, Percival, and spoke, "We should take her back with us. They can decide her fate there. She is hurt, though," he nodded at her leg, "and needs looking after. I don't think one little injured girl will give us much of a problem. Do you?"

Percival glared and crossed his arms as if saying, "_Yes, I do, you idiot._"

Addy, meanwhile had played their little game for far too long. She didn't want to go back with these two at all. She rose to her feet and tried to stand. Failing, she fell back into the grass softly. Her ankle was just too sore. "Look, just leave me here, okay? I'll find my own way back." She knew it would be pointless, but she had to try. _Please, _she prayed silently, _please let them not be some kind of crazy pack of fancy-dress serial killers. _

Gwaine approached her and she scooted backward in the leaves. "Hey," he said defensively, "I'm not going to hurt you. We're going to take you back to Camelot and have that leg seen to. If you are not working for our enemies, you will have nothing to fear."

_Camelot? Did he really just say Camelot?_ Mentally, she smacked herself in the head. _Of course!_ They were doing some sort of Renaissance Fair thing or a historical reenactment. These guys were just actors. That's why they looked like knights. Maybe they weren't crazy serial killers after all. Maybe she really could get help at Camelot. If they had a lot of tourists, surely they would have a first aid tent or something. She relaxed and nodded, as Gwaine lifted her gently from the ground and placed her atop his horse.

Percival eyed her warily, but said nothing. They rode quickly through the forest, Addy doing her best not to be so aware of the presence of the very handsome knight riding behind her. Actually, she was so distracted by this, that it was nearly fifteen minutes before it occurred to her that she still had her mobile in her pocket. She pulled it out and turned it on. Still working, but, as before, no signal. "Damn you!" She swore at it and almost threw it from the horse.

Gwaine chuckled behind her and bent forward. "You swear like a man! What is that you've got in your hand?"

Addy lifted it up to him, trying to show him its lack of bars. "My mobile. See, still no service." She nodded to the seemingly endless bit of forest they were riding through. "What is this place, like a military base or something? I thought all of Britain had some service."

Gwaine looked at her, puzzled. "I haven't the faintest idea of what you just said, but I really enjoy the way you say it."

She really wanted to elbow him in the chest, but with all that armour and padding, she didn't think it would do any good. "So, what? Do you, like, have to stay in character at all times or something? Did you sign some sort of legally binding document that says you are not allowed to break character for any reason? I mean, really? This whole 'I'm not from the twenty-first century, I'm from the Middle Ages,' thing, it's kinda weird."

Gwaine gawked at her, just as Percival gave a shout and pointed. "Camelot! There!"


	3. Chapter 3

Merilin's Heart-Chapter 3

When Addy first saw Camelot, she couldn't believe her eyes. Ahead, past the trees, was a white castle gleaming in the noonday sun. It was tremendously huge, with tall, white spires and a massive exterior wall ringed in gold. Red banners flew from parapets high up in the air. It was as if it radiated its own heat and beauty. "How did I not know this place existed?" Addy breathed. "I mean, this place must have cost a fortune to restore! It's amazing!"

They rode through the gate on a dusty cobbled street. Everywhere were people going about their daily lives. Well, Addy thought, their daily lives in 1292, or whatever year this was supposed to be. People with their wares, people talking, some women in fine dresses, others in rags, children playing, men with their dogs. They passed stables and blacksmiths and merchants. It was more than she could take in at once. People in the streets parted before them, bowing to the knights as they passed. Then, she smelled food wafting up from tents and out of windows and her stomach growled in response. She hadn't realized how hungry she was, and she hoped that wherever she was being taken, they had food.

The cobbles and dirt gave way to polished stone as they entered the citadel. Here, there were many more men dressed as knights, some standing guard, some rushing off, and servants with their duties, and richly dressed men and women. Gwaine reigned in his horse and dismounted, and Percival followed.

"I'll take her to Gaius," Gwaine said, "you go and report to Arthur." Percival nodded and rushed toward the steps that lead into the main building.

As Gwaine helped her down from his horse, Addy said, "So this is Camelot? Well, it makes sense that you have a King Arthur. Wouldn't be Camelot without Arthur. So, who is Gaius?" She had a tendency to speak very quickly and run all her thoughts together when she was nervous, so at first Gwaine wasn't sure what she had actually said. She repeated her question. "Who is Gaius?"

"Court physician," he answered, as he helped her up a narrow staircase opening into a wider hallway lined with wooden doors. It wasn't exactly what she had expected. She had thought to see signs saying "First Aid" or "Emergency" or something to that effect, but every single doorway looked the same. And the inner citadel was huge! How anyone could not get lost around here was a mystery. Suddenly, Gwaine stopped in front of one of the doors and knocked.

"Gaius!" He called. A muffled reply came from inside and Gwaine pushed open the door. Inside, an ancient-looking man stood behind a table mixing together ingredients from various jars. The room itself was stuffed to the brim and threatening to explode with books and small jars of all sorts. _So,_ Addy thought, _it was going to be the full medieval experience after all. So long as they don't try to stick leeches on me or drill a hole in my head to release my vapors..._

"What is the matter, Sir Gwaine?" The physician asked. He was sort of grumpy, but seemed kind enough. Maybe she could reason with him.

"We found this young lady like this out in the forest along the Northern border. She said her name was Addy and that she had injured her leg from a fall, although, I believe, she might have addled her brain as well. Much of what she has said has been quite confusing. Oh, and she has some sort of strange box. I wasn't able to tell if it was a magical device or not, but perhaps you could take a look." His tone was strange. Almost apologetic. She peered at her rescuer and noticed how sad he now looked. "Percival has gone to report her arrival to the King, and I'm sure he will want to speak with her. Maybe you could see if she is fit to be questioned."

But his words about her 'addled brain' stuck with her and only inflamed her rage. "Look," she demanded, "I did not hurt my head, I simply want to go home. I just need to get to a working phone or a rent a car or call the police. I've had a really rough night and I'm just not interested at playing along anymore!"

Gaius and Gwaine both gave each other knowing looks, which only served to make Addy even madder. Then, Gaius gestured for Gwaine to set Addy down on a small couch at the back of the room. He looked her up and down and then carefully peered at her injured leg, noticing the way she winced when he touched it. He turned to Gwaine, "Tell Arthur, her injuries are quite _extensive_ and that I will send word when she is on the mend. But I don't really think that she is a danger to anyone save herself, maybe." Gwaine nodded gratefully and proceeded to leave. "Oh," Gaius called after him, "If you see Merlin, please tell him I need him to come at once."

Gaius returned to Addy and placed several items nearby. Nervously she asked, "You're not going to use leeches, are you?"

He narrowed his eyes and instead held up a smelly handful of leaves. "This is my recipe for healing wounds like yours. It is merely herbs bound together with honey. It should help ease your pain and speed up recovery." He placed the mixture on her leg and wrapped a linen bandage around it. "There are no leeches involved. I have never used those disgusting creatures and have no intention of doing so now." He seemed slightly offended by her suggestion.

She apologized quickly and changed the subject, "So, there's a Merlin here, too. Why not. I suppose he does some sort of light show for the guests."

Gaius looked up quickly from the pot he was stirring and said quite seriously, "What do you mean?"

The wrap on her leg was already starting to work. She could feel the pain subsiding. She began chattering on. "Oh, you know, you've got the knights. I'm sure they do some sort of a tournament. And Arthur who probably gives a lot a speeches. But Merlin is the real draw, right? What with all the magic stuff. I'm sure people love it. And is there, like, a mandatory dress policy for tourists? Cause I gotta say, everyone out there looked the part. Do you mind if I have some of that?" Whatever Gaius had stirred now wafted over to her and it smelled delicious. She tossed back her hair casually, noticing that there were several twigs and leaves that had stuck to it. She failed, then, to see the expression on Gaius' face.

"How do you know about Merlin?" He demanded. "Who _are_ you?"

"Merlin? Come on," Addy laughed. "Every school child knows about Merlin the wizard. And King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table. And I told you, my name is Addy. Addy Singleton. I live in London. I'm only down here on hiking holiday. Trust me, this was the last place I thought I would end up."

Gaius stared at the pot, pondering the strangeness of the girl sitting on the couch. Perhaps Gwaine had been right, perhaps she had injured her head in the fall. But how on earth had she known about Merlin? And she acted as if it was no big deal. Indeed! He should turn her over to the King right now. But, he realized, if he did that, she might reveal Merlin's secret. And she was injured. He had a duty to heal her. No, what he needed was to go along with her ramblings, and try to figure out the truth.

He poured out the stew into a bowl and handed it over. She peered at it warily and then sniffed it. Then, she shrugged and began to devour the contents. "'S'really good." She murmured between mouthfuls. He poured some more out for her and she ate it greedily as well. He was a bit shocked to see a girl this young and thin eat the way she did. Suddenly, he was reminded of a young Merlin, sitting at the table, doing exactly the same thing. There was something slightly comforting in that memory. Maybe this girl was exactly who she claimed to be after all. But how?

"Tell me, Addy. Are you aware that all magic is outlawed in Camelot?" Gaius asked cautiously.

She raised an eyebrow and met his gaze. "Really? How odd? That doesn't fit in with the stories at all. Why would they do that?" Now it was her turn to be confused.

"Gwaine said you had some sort of strange box. May I see it?"

"My mobile? Sure, but it's not working." She pulled it from her pocket and handed it over. Gaius carefully handled the object, wary of any magic powers it might possess. He nearly dropped it though, when it made a noise as he touched a button. He decided to put it safely down on the table until he had more time to study it properly.

"Most interesting. What does it do?" He asked, now seeming far more intrigued than grumpy.

"Oh, you know. You can talk to people who live far away, take pictures, send texts, all the normal stuff a phone can do." She said sarcastically. She was starting to get annoyed from all the questions he was asking. When would she start to get some answers?

If he noticed her tone, he seemed unfazed. "It lets you speak with people at a great distance? How very useful!" He mused, drifting off into silent contemplation. A loud and deliberate cough from her brought him back from his thoughts. Clasping his hands behind his back, he returned to her side. "My dear, I would like for you to tell me exactly what happened to you in the woods. Tell me everything you can remember." His faded blue eyes watched her intently.

She recounted to him how she had gone for a hike and how she had fallen through a soft spot in the earth. She explained how she had hurt her leg falling into a deep cavern below. As she began to describe the cave, he grew increasingly interested. And when she got to the part about the crystals, Gaius stiffened as if struck by lightning. He then asked her to describe the crystals in detail. She explained how one crystal glowed, brightening all the others around it, but she purposefully left out the part about seeing a face in the light. _After all_, she thought, _why would that be important to him? I don't even know who it is._ Finally, she described how the light grew painfully bright, then her strange falling feeling, and how she had passed out only to awaken in the woods again.

Gaius made no sound, but nodded thoughtfully at everything she said. He paced slowly about the crowded room, lost deep in thought. At last, he turned to her. "You said before that you had heard stories about Arthur and Merlin. I wonder, would you mind telling me some of them?"

She yawned, if only to emphasize how bored she was of the constant questions. "Really? I mean, you're the one in costume, but since I'm obviously not going anywhere soon, why not? I'll warn you, though, I'm no scholar. The details of Arthurian legends are all a bit fuzzy to me."

His eyes twinkled. "Indulge me."

"Sure. Fine." She yawned again. "Well, um, so there was like this ancient king named Arthur who wanted to bring justice and equality to the land. He built a castle called Camelot and a great round table for his knights so that they would all have equal status as the king. Then there's a lot of stuff involving quests and rescuing maidens from dragons or something. Oh, and his queen, Guinevere, betrays him for a knight, Lancelot. And somehow Merlin helps him win a bunch of battles and stuff using his magic. And he has a magic sword, Excalibur." She closed her eyes, trying hard to recall the stories of her youth. "And there was an evil queen named Morgana, who I think was Arthur's sister. And then he was killed by M-."

Just then, the door crashed open with a bang and Addy jumped.

"Gaius!" a voice shouted, "I only just got back! What is it? What's wrong?" A young, dark-haired man stood awkwardly in the doorway, a concerned expression on his face.

Forgetting completely about her leg, Addy stood up and shouted, "IT'S YOU!"


	4. Chapter 4

Merlin's Heart—Chapter 4

The man entered the room quickly. "Gaius, who is-?" He was quickly silenced by the old physician, who held up his hand in warning.

Gaius studied Addy carefully. Addy had collapsed back down onto the couch, but was still staring at the man who had just come in. Her hazel eyes were wild. "You know him?" He asked.

She nodded slowly. "Sort of."

"Gaius, what is go-?" The man asked, and was abruptly silenced once more.

"And do you know his name?" Gaius asked.

Snapping out of her daze, Addy turned to him, "No. I've only seen an image." She waved her hand in exasperation. "I saw his face in the glowing crystal. Sorry I didn't mention it before."

The young man would no longer be silent. He rushed forward. "Gaius! What is going on? I don't understand, who is this girl?"

Gaius chuckled. "I know you don't understand, but I think maybe I'm beginning to."

"Great," Addy huffed. "Then can you tell me what's going on?"

"And me," he added.

"Merlin, this is Addy," Gaius said, smiling. "And Addy, THIS is Merlin."

"THIS is Merlin? This... Boy? No. Just. No." she shook her head and crossed her arms, making her look like a child throwing a tantrum. "No, no, no, no, NO! This is just crazy! You are NOT the famous Merlin. You can't be!" She stood up again like she was ready to storm out, and immediately cried out in pain.

Merlin shouted back, "I'm not a boy! I've just passed my twenty-fifth year! I'm at least older than you, at any rate! And why am I famous?"

"Now, stop that you two! Addy, please sit down. You'll only hurt yourself more. Now, Merlin, our...guest...here has quite an unusual story. I believe you should hear it."

"I'm not saying anything else," said Addy petulantly.

"Fine, I will tell him. You should rest, anyway..."

Merlin, at last, interjected, "Look, what is so important about this girl? She seems like a spoiled brat to me." He said quietly to Gaius alone. He watched Addy at a cautionary distance as she glared at the two of them.

Gaius began to explain to Merlin about how Addy was found in the forest and how she came to be there.

"You think she found the Crystal Cave?" Merlin asked. Gaius nodded. "And it made her like this?"

"Oh no! I think it did something much more drastic. Look at her, Merlin. Really _look_ at her."

He studied the girl now sitting quietly on the sofa, rubbing her sore leg, and frowning up at him. She was young, yes, but not a child. Her long, dark hair was a mess, and her strange clothes muddied and torn, making her look utterly mad. Then, he realized then that her clothes really were unusual. Not just style wise, but material as well. Her shoes were bulky and oddly fashioned. Nothing about her seemed _right_. But it was her eyes that really caught him. Beyond the fiery, wild exterior, he could see the confusion and fear radiating in their hazel depths. He instantly felt sorry for shouting at her. _She puts up a brave front, but underneath it all, she's just plain terrified. Too bad she has to open her mouth and ruin everything._

"She knows about you," Gaius whispered.

"What?!" Merlin said, causing Addy to once again become interested in their conversation.

"Not just you, a lot of things, like the Prophecies. And things that have happened in the past that no one should know about."

"Is she working with Morgana?" Merlin asked.

Gaius shook his head. "I don't think so. I saw no lie in her eyes when she told me her story. But I have an idea, improbable as it may be, of who she is. Or, at least, where she came from."

He turned to Addy again. "My dear, I have one last question for you. Then, if I am right, I may, at last, be able to answer some of yours."

Crossing her arms, she sighed. "Fine. One question."

"My dear, what year do you think it is?"

Addy laughed. "Really? That's the question you wanted to ask me?" Then, she saw the seriousness in his expression. "Two thousand and thirteen, of course."

Gaius quickly inhaled a sharp breath. Merlin stood staring at Addy, with his mouth gaping open. "2013? So she really is crazy."

"No, Merlin." Gaius corrected. He spoke to the girl, "Addy, I don't believe you are. I believe that when you touched that crystal, it sent you back in time. Back nearly one thousand years, it would seem."

"That is absolutely ridiculous!" Maddy shouted. "That's not even possible! How could touching some weird crystals send me through time? Look.,"she whined, "I'm tired of dealing with you weirdos. And YOU!" She pointed her finger right into Merlin's face. "Couldn't they get anyone else to be Merlin? You're just ridiculous! Who _are_ you, really?"

Gaius held up his hand, fending off an outpouring of insults from Merlin. "Stop this. It won't do anyone any good. I'm afraid you are just going to have to face facts!"

She turned to him, shaking. "I'm exhausted, I'm filthy, and I really, really, really just want to go home now!" Suddenly, it all fell apart. Worn out, in pain, and beyond confused, she was no longer able to keep up the tough act. The façade fell away as her chest hitched once and she broke into tears. "Please," she sobbed. "Let me go home now."

Gaius cautiously placed an arm around her shoulder. "Oh dear. If there was any way I could, I would. But those crystals are a source of great magic, and as such, are unpredictable. I have no idea why they would catapult you through time like this. I wonder..." He paused, in thought, shook his head and continued. "What you need now is rest. In a few days, when your leg has healed, Merlin and you can go to the Crystal Cave and try to get you back where you belong." He patted her hand softly as she sobbed into his robe. "Now, what you need is a nice, warm bath and good night's rest. I'm sure everything will look better in the morning."

Merlin was still in shock himself. Did Gaius actually believe this rude and spoiled girl had come from the future? That was crazy! And now here he was consoling her, telling her that he, Merlin, would be able to send her back! He was so confused and angry he was seeing stars.

"Merlin," Gaius asked, "would you mind fetching Addy some hot water for a bath. And maybe some bread and cheese from the kitchen." Merlin straightened up and crossed his arms defiantly. _No way! _He thought. Not until Gaius explained what on earth was going on. "Oh," Gaius added, ignoring him, "and maybe something a little more _appropriate_ to wear. Hmm? Off you go." He waved him towards the door.

Merlin threw up his hands in frustration, knowing it would be of no use to argue, and stomped through the door. If Gaius thought he would ever help such a ridiculous girl, well, he had another thing coming! And now to have to wait upon her as well as Arthur? Forget it! She was crazy, plain and simple, and the faster she was out of here, the better!


	5. Chapter 5

Merlin's Heart—Chapter 5

The bath was glorious and exactly what Addy needed. She took a long, deep breath and let it out slowly, sinking further into the brass tub. Her right leg hung just over the edge and she was careful not to get the bandages wet. She laughed to herself as she recalled how the boy Gaius called Merlin, begrudgingly filled the brass tub with water, desperately trying not to douse himself with the buckets of hot water. How anyone could think that _he_ was THE Merlin was beyond reason. Addy took a breath and dunked her head underwater, doing her best to scrub out the dirt from her hair with only a little sliver of soap.

Still, the warmth of the bath had done much to calm her nerves. She was beginning to see how irrationally she had acted. No one had harmed her, no one had threatened her. Whatever was going on here, all she needed to do was to wait until her leg was better, then walk out of this place and never look back. _Time travel_, she thought. P_fffft_. _A whole bunch of loonies is more like it._ And yet...that Merlin. He shook her nerves more than anyone. _Why do I feel like I know him? Why do I get the weirdest sense of déjà vu when I look at him? And why can I not stop thinking about him? It's not like he's the most handsome guy in the world; he's scrawny and all knees and elbows. But he does have piercingly blue eyes. Icy, but full of laughter and light, __like there is something deep and powerful __hidden behind them._

She splashed herself with water. _Stop that! You are getting out of here, as soon as you possibly can, even if you have to steal a horse or bribe a knight. There's simply no excuse for thinking like that. You have NOT, repeat, NOT traveled back in time to Camelot! You have stumbled upon a very large community of possible mental patients who like to dress and act like __they are living in the Middle Ages_. "Sure," she said to the empty room. "That sounds plausible."

The water had grown cold while she debated with herself, so she left the tub and dried off. Merlin had apparently managed to find some sort of badly dressed cow, as most of the clothes he had brought would have easily fit one. She remember Gaius telling her that he was a servant to King Arthur, and wondered if he was this incompetent in his duties to him as well. _Or maybe he just hasn't had much experience with women_, she considered. In either case, she couldn't even begin to imagine him as the famous wizard Merlin. It must merely be some sort of coincidence.

Near the bottom of the small pile she discovered a plain dress made of a light-weight rosy linen. It had a small border of violets around the neck that looked as though someone had painstakingly embroidered them by hand. She chided herself as she remembered that they probably were made by hand. This place was authentic to the hilt. She slipped on the dress and noticed it fit a little snuggly in the waist, but overall was quite comfortable, much more so than she had expected.

She wished for a mirror, so she could comb out her tangled mess of hair, but there was none to be had. For the first time, she really looked around the little bedroom they had given to her to sleep in. There was a small wooden bed/cot, a few scattered books on shelves (and a few on the floor), some odd assortment of jars (no doubt from Gaius laboratory downstairs), a pair of trousers with a hole in the knees strewn across a wooden chair, and a small fireplace. Small, sparse, and cozy. It then occurred to her whose room it was: Merlin's. Of course. Just like him. A mess, yes, but warm and cozy. It made her feel suddenly sorry for the way she had behaved towards him. _I never act that way around guys_, she realized. _Why was he so different?_

She removed the remaining dresses to the chair, and limped into the cot. How strange it would be if she was really in THE Merlin's bed. The thought made her smile. _Impossible, _she thought. _Yeah, but what if it was? _Her subconscious countered. The little fire danced and weaved, crackling and laughing. She watched it until she could no longer keep her weary eyes open. A moment later, she was deep in sleep, snuggled up warmly in Merlin's bed, the smile still on her lips.


	6. Chapter 6

**Okay, this is what some of you have been waiting for. I hope I did it justice. Please R & R. Thanks to all of you who have stuck with it so far!**

Merlin's Heart—Chapter 6

The girl, Addy, was still fast asleep. Her chest rose up and down in slow, even movements. Now, in the bright dawn light, her face cleaned of dirt, her hair now laying smoothly across the pillow, she looked almost...beautiful. Well, normal, at least.

"Merlin! Come down from there!" Gaius ordered.

Guiltily, he rushed down the narrow stairs. "I was only checking to see if she was awake," he explained.

Gaius nodded, knowingly. "Yes. I gather you had some difficulty deciding. It seemed to take you far longer than it should have."

Merlin blushed and looked away.

"Anyway," Gaius continued. "I have my rounds to do this morning. I see Arthur is in training with his men?" Merlin nodded. "Good. Then you will no doubt be able to look in on Addy for me."

"What? Gaius, I have loads to do! Arthur has left me a list a mile long!"

"Yes, no doubt. Still, you will need to keep an eye on her for me. I need not tell you how important it is that she not talk to ANYONE about ANYTHING she knows. Her life, and yours, may be in danger. The things she knows, Merlin...to anyone else, they would seem like sorcery."

Merlin nodded thoughtfully. Gaius and he had talked long into the night about what Addy had claimed to know. And, by the end, Gaius had managed to convince him of the truth in his speculations. Addy _was_ from the future. And somehow, Merlin would have to find a way to get her back.

"And I don't want her on that leg." Gaius instructed. "She needs to let it mend. Try not to do anything to...upset...her." He gave him the familiar blue-eyed stare-down that meant: Don't be an idiot, Merlin.

"Fine. Very well." Merlin conceded.

"Good. I'm counting on you. Make sure she has everything she needs and don't wake her! She needs rest, too."

"Wish I could sleep all day," Merlin muttered. "And I definitely won't be waking her. The longer she's asleep, the less she yells."

Gaius took a final glance towards Addy's door and nodded once in understanding. Then, he gathered his supplies and left. Merlin paced nervously in his absence, before finally chancing one more look in upon the sleeping guest.

She had shifted, but was still asleep. Her face was now nearly covered by her dark brown locks, which caught the light like fine bronze threads. He could just see through them, noticing the slight smile she wore. And for some reason, it made his heart flame fiercely in his chest.

He took a step back quietly and fled from the room.

"Oh, you're awake!" Merlin exclaimed as he peered once more inside the door.

Addy nodded and slid her feet to the floor.

"Gaius said you're not to be on that leg," Merlin instructed.

She smiled impishly and continued to hobble towards the door. "I will not stay cooped up in that bed all day. No way." She took another step, dragging her right foot along, and looked up at him expectantly. "Well, are you just going to stand there staring, or are you going to help me out?"

Merlin, who had been distracted by the sight of her in the rosy dress, caught himself and rushed to her side. He then placed her arm around his shoulder and lifted her quite easily off the ground. As he carried her to the room below, both of them were silent, distracted by their own thoughts and developing feelings.

"Thank you. I'm sorry I was such a pain yesterday. I didn't mean to shout at you like that," she offered sincerely and flashed him a cheeky smile. She absently picked up a nearby book and began thumbing through it.

"Yeah, you did shout a bit." He was finding it very difficult to speak now for some reason.  
"Gaius said I am to make sure you have everything you need. Do you?" He asked

"Yes, I guess." She tossed the book gently to the side. "I don't suppose you'd like to escort me around the castle by any chance?" She smiled again at him, and he nearly dropped the basket of Arthur's laundry he had just picked up.

"Um, I don't think that's such a good idea. You should probably just stay here for now. I mean, I would have to carry you around the castle, and it might get a little tiring. Not to mention what people would think. Not-not that you're heavy or anything, but, just, it's that Gaius-" He fumbled.

"-Forget it." She interrupted. "Look, do you mind staying here, then? Talk with me, maybe?"

Merlin peered down at the laundry in his arms and instantly made up his mind. "Sure," he said cooly, dropping the basket to the floor. "Nothing that can't wait." _Arthur's going to skin me_. He took a seat on a bench opposite her. "I know this may sound strange, but, can you tell me what it's like?"

"What's what like?" She asked.

"You know, where you're from. The future."

"Oh. That." She fidgeted in her chair. "I'm not really from the future, you know. I mean, to you I am, I guess. But, all you have to do is just leave this place and you'll see it for yourself. This isn't real, you know." She was trying to be helpful, but the look on his face was crestfallen.

"Yeah," he muttered sadly. "Addy, I know you don't believe Gaius, but he really is right. You need to accept it."

She fumed. "Accept it?! How can I? Time travel from magic rocks! There is no such thing as magic. It just isn't real!"

A slow, unsure smile spread over his face, taking over every inch of it a little at a time. "What if I could prove to you magic was real? Would you accept what's happened to you then?"

She trembled, not liking where this was going. "Maybe."

"Here." He said and held out his hand, fist closed. He whispered something that, to Addy, sounded like 'four bears' and then slowly opened his fist. On his palm, right in the center was a dancing blue ball of flame. Addy's breath caught, and her heart thumped in her ears. "Take it," he said, making the ball travel from his palm, past his fingertips, and directly towards Addy. Nervously, she reached out for it. It was warm, not hot, and it danced across her fingers as if it were alive. Suddenly and unexpectedly, she laughed. It was real! Real magic!

She looked up at Merlin, who was laughing too, and a wave came crashing down upon her. Not of water, but of memory. It was that odd déjà vu feeling magnified a hundred times stronger. And this time, she remembered everything. She had seen him before, in a dream she had as a child. This exact thing. The dancing fire, the laughing, smiling face. Eyes that twinkled from their own inner flame. She shuddered violently and the flame vanished from her hands.

Concerned, he asked, "What? What is it? What's wrong?"

She placed a hand to her head and without warning tears began to fall. "It's real, isn't it? All of it. Magic. Going back in time... You."

He didn't know what to say to comfort her, so he merely came to her side and placed his arms carefully about her, as he had seen Gaius do. This made her sob even harder and he pulled back, but she held on to him. "I'm sorry." He said quickly, "I shouldn't have upset you."

"No," she exclaimed. "No, you haven't. It's something else. Something I just remembered, but I don't understand what it means. And, well, it's a lot to take in. To adjust to, you know."

"What did you remember?"

She wiped her eyes, the tears stopping just as suddenly as they had come. She gestured for him to return to his seat. "I had a dream. I was young, ten, eleven, maybe. No, it was eleven. I had just had my heart broken for the first time. A boy I liked in my class, he had made fun of me."

She lost herself in the memory of that time. She saw herself rushing home in tears, and her mother had come to her and said, 'Addy, one day, you'll meet the man you are destined for.' She asked her how she would know him and her mother said, 'You'll just know, because he will be the man of your dreams.' She stared into his steely eyes, saw their tenderness and concern. _Could it be?_

She looked away quickly, before he could see the blush spreading across her cheeks. She composed herself and tried to finish her story. "Anyway, that night I had this dream. One of the most vivid dreams in all my life. And it was of this moment. Of you, laughing, and the fire dancing on your fingers. What do you think that means?"

Merlin could only stare at her. Magic surely had brought her here. And magic had shown her a vision of him. Why though? He had no answers. But he was beginning to wonder if the fluttering in his chest when he looked at her was part of it.


	7. Chapter 7

Merlin's Heart—Chapter 7

When Gaius arrived back from his duties, Addy was in a deep discussion with Merlin about movies. She was trying, unsuccessfully, to describe to him what it was like to see a film. She had already told him about cars and computers, electricity and radios, but for some reason, it was the concept of film that he couldn't understand.

"You mean, you just sit and watch them? These celebrities? On a tiny box? Or sometimes a really big sheet hanging on a wall? And sometimes it's just drawings that are grouped together to make it seem like they are moving. But they have the ability to show you anything you could possibly imagine. Can they see inside your head? Do they read your mind? I just don't get it." He kept making the strangest faces and waving his hands in the air emphatically.

She giggled and tried explaining it again.

"Merlin?" Gaius interrupted, "Didn't you have some chores you had to do? For the King? So he doesn't stick you in the stocks again?"

Merlin jumped into the air, knocking over his chair in the process. "Oh no!" he exclaimed. "I completely lost track of time. Addy, I'm sorry, but I must go!" He rushed out the door, only to return a second later and grab the basket of clothes he had left lying on the floor, and rushed out again.

When he had gone, Gaius turned to Addy. "Well, I hope you two found something to talk about."

She nodded. "Gaius. I saw magic today. Real magic," she said thoughtfully. "I believe you, now."

Gaius sat. "Merlin showed you magic?"

She nodded. "And something else happened. I remembered a dream I had as child. A dream I had of him. When I was in the cave, that crystal showed me him again. That's why I was drawn to it. I sensed that I knew who it was somehow. Gaius, how could I have seen Merlin in my dreams before I ever met him? And what does it mean?" She pleaded.

His pale, blue eyes remained watchful as he thought: _How different she __seemed now! __She wasn't fighting anymore. And she had actually been smiling! _ _I wonder what has caused the change in her? _

"I'm not sure," he pondered, "but perhaps something much, much bigger is at work here. Some sort of magic or destiny. I do not know what the old magic has in store for you, but maybe you were brought here for a reason. Maybe you do have a part to play in all of this. But, I think the only way for you to find out is for you to _be_ a part of it. How does your leg feel today?"

Addy stuck out her leg. "Much better, far less pain. I can put a little weight on it, but not much, though."

Gaius carefully checked it over, then redressed it. "It's looking better. The swelling has gone down considerably. I would say you should be able to get around on it quite well the day after tomorrow." He stood up and began to walk away. Addy placed a hand on his arm to stop him.

"Gaius," she said tenuously, trying to ask him the question that had bothered her all day. "Merlin explained the ban on magic. How Arthur's father had decreed that anyone caught practicing magic would be executed. I understand why Merlin doesn't tell Arthur. But what I don't understand is, why is he Arthur's _servant_? Why does he put up with him bossing him around? He's supposedly the most powerful sorcerer that ever live. Arthur should be bowing down before him. He could walk out of here, find some place safe to practice magic, and have untold fame and power."

Grasping her hand gently with his own wrinkled and worn ones, he explained, "Merlin is Arthur's servant because it is his destiny to be. He protects Arthur, guides him, and cares for him. He puts up with the insults and the abuse because he believes that, in spite of himself, Arthur is a great person, a great king, and a great friend. And he does it because Merlin is Merlin. He cares for others, not for himself. It's for this reason, not the magic, that I believe he will be remembered for all time." He smiled gently, still thinking about how different she was now.

Then he realized what it was. _You old fool! Are you really so blind you don't see what is happening between them? _"He cares for you, too. I see it in his eyes when he looks at you." Suddenly, he pulled away and frowned. "Be careful with him. You don't belong here, not really. And he has a great destiny to achieve. You must not stand in the way of it."

Addy was shocked at what she was hearing. "I have no intention of doing that. I-I mean, yes, I have started to...care...for him. But, trust me, I want to get back. I don't want to be a...distraction. As soon as he can figure it out, believe me, I'm gone."

Gaius patted her hands again. "Good." _Better that she leave as quickly as possible before Merlin gets too attached. _"Then we must see about getting you home."


	8. Chapter 8

Merlin's Heart—Chapter 8

Gwaine watched his King with anticipation as he questioned the woman who stood before him. She was trembling only slightly, clearly trying to hide her fear. Her bravery impressed him. Not to mention her looks.

She had cleaned up well. She looked far better than the wretched state he had found her in just three days ago. Her dark hair was braided loosely down her back, revealing her radiate golden eyes. The simple dress she wore accentuated her small frame. Although blondes were typically his type, he thought for her he would make an exception. If only she wasn't crazy person or a spy.

He peered at Gaius across the crowded great hall. His face was a mask of somberness and apprehension. He could tell nothing useful from him. However, Merlin standing next to him, was a different matter entirely. He chewed at his nails and kept darting his eyes between Arthur and Addy. In all the years Gwaine had known him, he only appeared this worried when Arthur was in mortal peril. It dawned on him suddenly that Merlin _cared_ for this girl. It made him snicker and quickly hid it with a well-timed cough before anyone could notice. _Merlin and a girl!_ He hoped for his sake that Arthur found her innocent.

"And how did you come to be in the Northern forest?" Arthur asked sternly, but with concern.

Addy recalled the advice Gaius had given her for when she was called to defend herself before Arthur's court. She was to say she was from a small village near the woods. She had gone to a river nearby to do laundry and had fallen down the steep sides of the ravine and been tossed about by the rapids. This would explain her injuries and the state of her clothing, should it come up. She remembered Gaius asking if she had the ability to lie convincingly under pressure. Laughing, she told him that her last job was in PR. "Lying was my business," she smirked.

_But unlike PR, if this man catches me lying, he won't just fire me, he'll execute me_, she thought drearily. So, she straightened her shoulders and met the King's concerned blue eyes with her own. "Sire, after I fell, I was forced to try to seek help on my own. I must have hit my head quite hard on the stones, because I couldn't seem to find my way back." Not exactly the truth, but not a lie, either. "If your knights hadn't found me when they did," she risked a very slight smile in Gwaine's direction, "I would surely have perished." Gwaine winked cheekily back.

Arthur sat back and laced his hands together. He sighed. "Gaius, she has been in your care. Have you seen any indication that she might be a spy for Morgana?"

The old physician stepped forward. "Sire, she was in a state of shock when she arrived. Anything strange about her manners was due purely to her accident. I have seen nothing which would cause me to suspect her as a spy. And, I believe that she should be well enough to return home within a few days."

Arthur nodded. He turned to Addy. "These are treacherous times and Camelot must always be on its guard against our enemies. Gaius and Merlin have both vouched for your sincerity, and I do believe now that you are not an enemy of Camelot." His tone softened and the line's of worry in his brow uncreased. "I'm sorry to have put you through this ordeal in your state, but I hope you can understand. I release you back into Gaius' care, and wish you a safe journey home." With a courteous wave, he dismissed her.

Addy smiled broadly and did her best imitation of a curtsy. "Thank you, Sire." Just like with Merlin, King Arthur had been nothing like what she expected. She had not expected a king to be so concerned for her feelings or so fair and impartial. She could definitely see how this man would foster a legend. And she could see why Merlin cared for him the way he did.

As Addy left the court, Gwaine once again glanced to Merlin. This time, no amount of coughing could cover up his laughter. Merlin's silly, sheepish grin had now taken over his entire face. _He's got it bad,_ Gwaine chuckled. _This could be fun!_


	9. Chapter 9

**THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for the great reviews! I am so glad you all like it. In the next couple of chapters, I have tried to follow along with the events of the S5 finale. I've changed a few of the details, but I still its plausible that things could have happened this way. As always, I am open for any honest opinions and suggestions, so I hope you enjoy! **

Merlin's Heart-Chapter 9

Addy felt as though she had just narrowly escaped a nasty death, and was disappointed when Merlin never returned to Gaius' chambers. Gaius explained how he was called to council and that he would most likely be locked away all day with Arthur and the knights. So, Addy busied herself with helping Gaius try to organize his work room. She wanted to repay him for his kindness, and it was the only thing she could think of. The old man was extremely grateful for the help and spent his time telling her humorous stories of some of Merlin's more infamous antics. It took _hours_, and Addy couldn't recall the last time she laughed so much.

But when Merlin appeared bearing their evening meal, right away she could feel the shift in his mood. There was an air of apprehension surrounding him. As they sat for dinner, she watched him closely.

"What is it?" she asked, noticing the way he frowned at his bread.

"Morgana is preparing to strike. There are reports that she is gathering her forces for a major battle. And I'm sure Mordred is now among them."

"Mordred?" Gaius asked. "He will no doubt have told her who you are by now."

Addy was silent. Morgana was a name she had heard of over and over in the old stories. She was always the villain, the evil witch/half-sister who plotted to destroy Arthur. And she had heard of Mordred, too. She wondered if Merlin knew that Mordred was the one who was supposed to kill Arthur. Should she tell him? It could change the future if he somehow stopped him. And yet, she knew how much Merlin cared for Arthur. Could she really keep silent?

"Merlin, I need to tell you something." she began hesitantly. "Mordred is... Mordred ki-"

"He's the one who kills Arthur, isn't he." Merlin finished sadly.

Nodding, she whispered, "Yes. You knew? How?"

"There is a prophecy. I have tried and tried to stop it, but every time, I only seem to make it happen. I don't know what to do." His face was shadowed as he picked at his stew.

She hated seeing him like this. "Merlin, maybe you can't change destiny. But maybe, that's not always such a bad thing. I mean, look at me, I'm living proof of that. I used to think that destiny and magic were just fairy tale stuff. And then I met you." She nudged him gently and smiled. "I think all you can really do is follow your heart and go where it leads you. I know you have to try to save him. You wouldn't be you if you didn't. But you can't beat yourself up if things don't work out. You are not responsible for the deeds of others. You are a great man, you always have been. And I believe in you." _Where had all that come from?_ _What had happened to her?_ Feelings like this had always been something she had run from, not toward. So, why wasn't she scared?

Merlin lifted his dark silvery eyes to hers. They were full of gratitude and relief, and in that moment, she knew exactly why she wasn't frightened of her feelings for him. Inside, her heart beat pounded madly against her chest. She could feel the heat rising in her face. How had she fallen for him so quickly? _ There must be some strong magic at work here,_ she thought.

Gaius cleared his throat, reminding Merlin that he was supposed to be securing transportation for them to travel to the Valley of the Fallen Kings. "How are the preparations coming?"

Tearing himself away from her gaze, he responded. "Tomorrow, I will have everything ready. We can leave at first light, as long as you feel up to traveling," he said to Addy, but now his tone was somber, and he could barely look at her.

She felt it too. It was like being forced to wake from a wonderful dream. Three days she had been here, and now she was hesitant to return. Yesterday, Merlin had shown her the lower village. She had met some of the villagers and explored the bustling life in this ancient city. It was nothing like she had ever expected. People were friendly and warm, everyone working together to make the city run smoothly. _This was why Camelot became famous_, she reasoned. _This was Arthur's legend_. She felt a fierce, burning desire to stay, to become one of its citizens. _Why go back? What's really there for me? An apartment, a handful of friends, a stressful job?_ None of it had the appeal it once did.

And then there was Merlin.

It had grown late and there was still much for him to do. He bade Addy goodnight and hurried from the room. She trekked into bed, lost in her thoughts. In her heart, she had already made up her mind. She was not going back. She would do whatever it took to stay here in Camelot. Feeling giddy, she paced the room, waiting to inform him of her decision. But he was late getting back and she was tired. Despite her efforts to stay awake for his return, her eyes drooped and sleep overtook her.

-(0)-

A shout below woke her violently from her slumber. She rushed from the room, to see Gaius hovering over Merlin's cot, a heavy pot in his hands. Merlin was sitting awkwardly on the floor, looking shaken and upset. On the cot, a strange black animal quivered its last breath. As she tried to get a better look at the creature, Gaius held out his arm and stopped her.

"What is it?" She asked breathlessly. She had never seen anything like it before. It was like a large, fat snake that was so black it seemed to absorb the light around it.

"I don't know, some sort of magical creature, no doubt. It tried to kill Merlin." Gaius walked over and helped Merlin regain his feet. He pulled out a bench for him to sit upon.

"Yeah," Merlin said, still trembling. "If Gaius hadn't been there..."

"It must have been from Morgana. Luckily she didn't succeed."

Merlin nodded. Wanting to study the strange creature, he reached out his hand towards a book on the shelf across the room. Nothing happened. He closed his eyes and focused his powers. His eyebrows crossed in concentration as he stretched his hand toward the book again. A look of utter panic filled his face.

"What is it?" Addy asked, noting the fear growing in his eyes. "What's wrong?"

"Gaius. I think she did succeed," he stated desolately. "My magic's _gone_!"


	10. Chapter 10

Merlin's Heart—Chapter 10

Gaius paced tensely around his apartment. "You must get back your magic!"

Merlin sighed heavily. Nothing he had tried had worked. "How?"

Gaius shook his head. "I don't know. That you survived the attack at all is a testament to your powers. I'm sure Morgana must now know who you are. But I don't think she knows _what_ you are."

Addy looked up from her place at Merlin's side. "What does that mean?"

"Merlin's magic is not something that he chose to learn. It was something he was born with. This is exceptionally rare." He shot her a sobering look. "Merlin _is_ magic, it _made_ him."

She looked with concern at the man at her side. "So what will happen to him without it?"

Gaius wrung his hands anxiously. "I don't know. But I fear that he will weaken considerably, until..." His voiced trailed off.

The three of them sat in horrified silence. Suddenly, Gaius exclaimed. "Merlin! Maybe if you return to the place where all magic began, you can get it back."

Merlin brightened. "You really think so? That's a strange coincidence."

"What is? Where are you talking about?" Addy begged.

Merlin's face lit up roguishly. "The Crystal Caves." He stated.

"The _caves_? The same place we were going to in order to send me back?" It came out more desperate than she had intended. Earlier, she had decided to tell them both that she had made up her mind to stay, but hadn't gotten the opportunity to say anything yet. And now, it seemed as though she was being dragged back to the place she least wanted to go. What was fate trying to do to her?

"Yes. And once your magic is back, Addy can return home." Gaius offered politely.

Both Merlin and Addy stared at the ground, neither one liking the idea, but refusing to contradict the old man.

Gaius paced again. "It's dangerous, though. There are bandits everywhere. And you have no way to defend yourself now. You'll need help."

"I can defend myself and him." Addy interjected.

"Against armed men?" Merlin shook his head. "No, I won't risk that. I hate to say it, but we need a knight." He said distastefully.

-(0)-

"Sure, I'll go." Gwaine said with more than just a touch of swagger mixed with ego. "Just as soon as we destroy Morgana's army once and for all."

Merlin and Addy had managed to corner him in a hallway as he was heading back from Arthur's council. He was unusually serious. Even Addy was sensing the seriousness of the impending battle.

"What are you talking about?" Merlin asked apprehensively.

"Morgana has sent all her armies out. She means to attack. Arthur has decided to meet them in Camland, in order to spare the people of Camelot."

A cold shiver raced down Addy's spine and she watched the exchange. Merlin was crestfallen.

Reluctantly, he explained, "I _must_ go to the Valley of the Fallen Kings. And I must go now. Everything is prepared. We could leave at once. You would have time to meet up with Arthur's forces before they reach Camland."

"Why is this so important to you? You never would leave Arthur's side at a moment like this." Gwaine asked.

"There is something I must get from the Valley. It-it's very, very important. Please, Gwaine, will you help us?" He pleaded. His voice and bearing was weaker already, and Addy wondered how long he could last without magic.

Gwaine sensed that there was something hugely important that Merlin was keeping from him, but he nevertheless agreed. _Merlin must have a really good reason for all this. He had better tell this time_. _I'm pretty sure he owes me that much,_ Gwaine mused as he departed.

"Addy," Merlin said, turning to her, "go to the stables. I will meet you there as soon as I can. But first, I must speak with Arthur." He turned away sadly, heart heavy with the news for his king. Arthur was going to battle. And this time, Merlin wouldn't be with him.


	11. Chapter 11

Merlin's Heart—Chapter 11

They set out immediately for the Valley of the Fallen Kings. Gwaine led the way, followed by Addy, who was struggling with the reigns and trying not to fall off the horse. Merlin followed farther behind, a dark sadness hanging upon him like a noose. There was a brooding tenseness in the air that even the overcast sky belonged to.

They rode in silence for nearly an hour before Gwaine could stand the uneasiness no longer. He turned to Addy and jovially said, "My lady, you do not seem to have much experience with horses."

Just to prove him wrong, she attempted to nudge her horse past his, but instead made it shy far off to the right. She grit her teeth and pulled hard to the left. The horse merely snorted and continued clopping in his own direction. She muttered a slew of silent curses.

"Perhaps I could give you some..._riding_...lessons when we return." He called after her.

At last, the horse gave up, and she managed to reign him back toward the path. Being no stranger to innuendo, so replied cooly, "I think I can manage. Thanks. Besides, I have Merlin to teach me."

He chuckled. "Him? You need someone more..._experienced_...with riding."

With every ounce of sarcasm she could muster, she rolled her eyes and cooed, "Ooooooohhh. I'm sure you've had plenty of experience. With horses. And I have a feeling Merlin is very..._accomplished_."

"Yeah," Gwaine laughed. "At falling out of the saddle! No, what you need is a real man. A brave, smart, incredibly good looking knight to _teach_ you." He shook his head so his curly mane blew back from his face, and his horse whinnied in protest.

"Hmm. I'll let you know if I find one." She quipped. "Maybe he could help you out as well."

Gwaine gawked open-mouthed, and then, suddenly, they were both laughing hysterically.

Merlin was so mad he could spit. His face had quickly gone from ashen white to blazing hot. Their flirtations had roused him from his worrying, and now all he could see was red. _It's a good thing I don't have any magic or Gwaine would be braying like a donkey right now_, he seethed. _Or maybe he'd be less of a nobhead with a face full of warts!_ Nudging his horse in between Gwaine's and Addy's, he stuttered, "You know, _Gwaine_, once we get to the Valley, you should probably leave. I don't think Arthur's army could defeat Morgana's without you."

Gwaine stopped laughing and said in complete seriousness, "Relax, Merlin. Honestly, I meant no harm. I was only teasing you. Just trying to lighten the mood. And it's good to see you have an interest in something other than Arthur's well-being or the state of his shirts." He nodded toward Addy, whose horse had decided to lead the way ahead. "You don't know how many times we've all wished for you to have someone special in your life."

Taken aback in more ways than one, Merlin found he couldn't reply.

Gwaine continued. "She's a lovely girl, Merlin. Tough and smart, just what you need. I wish you all the happiness in the world." He said sincerely.

"Thanks...We're not really together, you know. She needs to go back home, and I don't think I will be able to see her again," Merlin faltered.

"Shame. I see the way she looks at you. And you at her. Is there no way you could make it work?"

He hesitated, then shook his head. Quietly, he muttered, "She has her destiny and I have mine."

-(0)-

The road turned rougher as they left the lands of Camelot. Merlin was wearing thin, and he struggled to keep up. Whatever Morgana had done to his magic was now taking a tremendous physical toll on him. He shifted miserably in the saddle and he could barely raise his arms. "The cave we are searching for should not be too much farther." He said in labored breaths.

Gwaine stopped them and dismounted. "The terrain will only get worse, and you look as though you could drop off that horse at any moment. And I don't think Addy is having much success, either. Perhaps we should proceed on foot."

Merlin and Addy agreed, and soon they were trudging over the rocky ground. "Be on your guard," warned Gwaine, "there are bandits everywhere."

Warily, they continued until Merlin stumbled and fell hard over a small rocky outcropping. Suddenly, two grizzled, armed men appeared from behind a thicket. They roared as they attacked. Gwaine, who had stopped to help Merlin, was caught off guard. Flashing his sword upward just in time, he clumsily deflected the bandits first blow. Unfortunately, it left him at a severe disadvantage when the other man approached from behind.

Without hesitation, Addy rushed at the bandit. His back was turned away, never suspecting the small girl could do any harm. With a well placed kick to the back of the knee, she dropped him to the ground. Then, before he could turn and draw upon her, she kicked the sword free from his hand. He roared in anger and tried to launch at her, but she darted away only to swing back and deliver a nose-breaking blow to the middle of his face. Immediately, he fell still upon the ground.

Gwaine, who had finally managed to run his sword through the other man, stood next to her, in clear admiration. "Well done! That was quite impressive. I'll have to remind Merlin not to get on your bad side." He said, then made sure the bandit would not be getting up.

She replaced a loose hair and paused to catch her breath. "Top of my self-defense class." She beamed. "Only took me two weeks to master those moves. You wouldn't believe how many times I've been mugged. Trust me, I can handle myself."

Merlin, weak as he now was, could only manage an approving smile and said, "You're completely amazing! I'm sorry I doubted you."

She flushed and shrugged it off as they continued their journey.

With no further incidence, they reached the cave. Merlin turned to Gwaine. "Please, go back to Arthur. Addy and I will be fine here. He needs your help now much more than I do."

Gwaine looked around at the empty forest, and at the rapidly deteriorating state of his friend. He said hesitantly. "Are you sure?"

There was no challenging the seriousness of Merlin's voice. "Yes. We'll be alright."

There was something oddly final in his tone, but Gwaine wouldn't argue. Merlin had his secrets alright, but his heart was always in the right place. This was just another one of those strange moments were he simply had to trust that. He placed an arm in farewell upon his shoulder and gave a curt nod. Between friends and brothers, there was simply nothing more that needed to be said. He then bowed briefly to Addy, who bestowed upon him one last, radiant smile. With a flash of his red cape, he was gone.

They turned now to the caves before them. Addy's heart sank as she peered into the dark, jagged crevasse. Somehow, she knew that she would never return to Camelot, nor see again any of the new friends she had come to care for. But as she watched Merlin struggling towards the cave, she knew what needed to be done. Without an ounce of hesitation, she followed him into the void.

**Author's Note: This was my favorite chapter to write. It was so much fun picturing Gwaine and Merlin sparring over a woman... and I love how Addy shows them just how tough she really is. Two chapters left, hope you keep reading!**


	12. Chapter 12

Merlin's Heart—Chapter 12

Entering the cave, Addy was instantly assailed by the strength of magic in the place. Older than time, wild and unrestrained. It was like a song in the air that she couldn't quite catch the lyrics to, yet the melody was hauntingly, beautifully familiar. She wondered if having magic made Merlin feel like this all the time.

"Where are we going?" She whispered to him.

He looked around. "The crystals are ahead. I'm hoping to find one like the one that sent you back."

"So, it should be glowing?"

He shrugged. "Maybe. I don't know. Just look for anything that seems _important_." They moved deeper into the cave.

"Don't worry," Addy said. She could tell how anxious he was about everything working out. And about Arthur. "I'm sure you'll get your magic back. And you'll get to Arthur in time. Remember, I'm from the future. I know about these things."

"So," An eerie voice echoed in the darkness, "you're from the future? How _advantageous._"

Instantly, Merlin swung around, "MORGANA!" He seethed. "Come out and face me!"

Evil, malicious laughter filled the chasm as the sorceress came into view. Her raven hair flew wildly about her, and Addy could feel the force of hatred emanating from her. "Emrys without his magic! You have defied me for the last time!" She spat. She threw out her hands and Addy flew back, hitting the cave wall like a stuffed doll. She remained pinned there by an unseen force. Merlin was thrown hard to the grown on the far side of the cave.

He rushed towards Addy, but Morgana stood between them. A wicked smile spread across her frosty skin. From beneath the folds of her dress, she withdrew a sharp, curved dagger. "You will no longer haunt me, Emrys! This is where I destroy you! And when you are dead, I will destroy Arthur and everything he stands for!" She roared.

Merlin, weakened and defenseless, stood his ground. He would never show fear in front of Morgana.

Addy knew she had to do something. She couldn't let Morgana kill Merlin. Heart beating frantically in her chest, she yelled, "MORGANA! I AM from the future. And I know exactly what will happen. You will NEVER destroy Arthur!"

Enraged, Morgana shrieked and snapped her wrist at her, pushing her even harder into the rock. Addy bit back a scream as the sharp edges of the stone bit into her back and shoulders. But she knew she had to keep pushing. In the darkness, she could still see the shear madness in Morgana's coal black eyes. Addy could tell that once she had been very beautiful, but years of jealousy and fury had taken their toll. Those emotions now ruled her completely. It was Addy's only advantage. "Arthur's legacy will live forever!" Addy cried out. "A thousand years in the future, every child will know his name. And Merlin's. They will be remembered and loved. But no one will remember you! You have already lost!"

The words did their duty and Morgana let forth a scream of purest hatred. The earth itself began to shake at the sound. Rocks from above crashed downwards. Addy fell with them, spell broken, and huddled on the floor as they tumbled all about her. She called out for Merlin, but the only answer was the sound of thundering earth. When it finally came to an end, she was alone in complete darkness.

-(0)-

"MERLIN!" She cried. She waited for an what seemed like an eternity for any sign from him.

A distant, muffled shout answered her. _He was still alive!_

She scrambled forward blindly, searching for him in the darkness. Her hands met a great impenetrable wall of stone. She pulled at the boulders frantically, but none would budge.

"I can't get out!" She yelled.

"I see the wall, but I can't shift it," came the anxious reply.

"What happened to Morgana?" Addy asked.

"She fled when the rocks started falling. But she's trapped us here, and now she's going to go for Arthur!" Merlin shouted painfully.

"Then you must get your magic back! There's no time to lose. Don't worry about me, I'm not hurt or anything. I mean, after all, it's not like I'm going anywhere."

There was a short burst of tense laughter. "I think you saved my life, Addy." He said appreciatively.

Suddenly, there was a warm, tingling sensation on her skin. From the corner of her eye, she noticed a faint glow.

"Oh no," she cried mournfully.

"What? What is it?" He asked nervously.

Reluctantly, she told him. "I think I found the crystal."

There was no reply from Merlin. Addy watched the light glow brighter. It wasn't frightening in the least, yet she was filled with absolute terror. _I don't want to go back_, she prayed. _Not now! _She shuffled back along the wall, as far from the crystal as she could get.

Softly, from just the other side of the wall, he said, "Addy. Don't go." His voice cracked with sadness.

She slid down the wall, tears spilling down her face. "I don't want to go. I didn't want to leave you, but I don't think I have a choice. The light keeps getting brighter. I know it wants to send me back. I must have done what it brought me here for."

"What?"

"Save your life." She had to tell him how she felt before she could be returned. "Merlin. You are the kindest, most loyal person I have ever met. It was an honor knowing you. I wish...I wish I could have stayed with you... a little longer." The sound of thunderous waves was growing in the void. Her head was reeling.

"Addy, I've never known anyone like you either." The anguish in his voice was unbearable.

"Go get your magic back, Merlin! Save Arthur. It's your destiny." The light was blinding her now, and the roaring of the waves was drowning out all thought. She had only moments.

"Addy..." He wailed.

"I never believed in anything until I met you. You are my magic! I-I love you!" She screamed. The pain in her head was unbearable. She gripped the stone wall, desperately trying to hold on. The sea of time was washing over her.

The last thing she heard before she passed out was the sound of his voice. It cut through the cacophony like a dagger straight to her heart. "I love you, Addy!" Suddenly, and with urgency, he shouted, "I will find you again, Addy! I'll find you...!"

The waves of time finally caught her, and she was lost, drowning, in their dark depths.


	13. Chapter 13

Merlin's Heart-Chapter 13

"I'll find you!"

His words had pierced her soul and shattered her heart.

She blinked in the sunlight and slowly sat up. In front of her was a large boulder on top of which was a collection of objects. Her objects, from her pack. She was back.

Tears spilled into the ground and she sobbed grievously, until there were simply no tears left to fall. Slowly, she at last managed to pick herself up, and she returned to the spot under the rock that she had fallen through. It was now solid and compacted ground. There was no trace that the crack she had fallen through had ever existed. She pounded on the unyielding stone with a heart-wrenching wail. "Take me back! Let me go back! Please!"

The stone did not reply.

The shadows deepened into evening in the forest. A cool breeze rustled through the trees. She was alone. He was gone, forever.

With leaden heart, Addy gathered her things from the rock and trekked slowly back to her car. What was she supposed to do now?

-(0)-

Days melted into weeks, and weeks into months. Addy tried to return to her old life, but everything now seemed hollow and fake. Life in Camelot had been so much richer, so much more real. Her life here seemed like the dream. The light had gone from her world and with it, her heart. Almost daily, she found herself spending countless hours in libraries or on the net pouring through all the stories of Merlin she could find. It was the only way she could think of to be with him. Reading about his exploits, real or not, seemed to bring him back.

But still his last words haunted her. Would she ever really see him again? Was his magic strong enough to bring him to the future?

-(0)-

Addy shut the voluminous novel and replaced it on the shelf. It was a lot like most of the Arthurian histories she had already searched through. Utterly false. She waved to the librarian to let him know she had finished.

"Done for the day?" He asked, sorting through a stack of leather-bound novels.

"Guess so. There wasn't much in that book you recommended." She sighed.

"Oh." He sounded shocked. "I was under the impression that the author was highly regarded as an expert on Arthurian legend."

She grumbled something like, "An expert in b-s, maybe." She thanked him again and gathered her coat and umbrella. She stepped outside and noticed that the weather had turned much colder as winter approached, but at least the rain had stopped. She braced herself against the chill and raced home.

As she crossed the street next to her apartment, she thought she heard a strange voice call out her name. Turning quickly, she saw a very ancient gentlemen nearly sprinting toward her. He seemed quite intent on catching up with her. She thought perhaps she had left something behind at the library and stopped to meet him. That's when she saw the car speeding towards him.

Addy yelled and launched herself towards the man, throwing him out-of-the-way only seconds before impact. Angrily, she yelled, "What do you think you were doing? You could have been killed!"

A slow, sly grin extended across his grey-bearded face. It was a grin she knew. "I guess I owe you twice." He said.

She looked into the man's dark, blue eyes. They were sadder and far more ancient than before, but still they held that depth of care that had first captured her. "It's you," she breathed.

"I told you I would find you." Merlin said. His voice was raspy and gruff with years.

"Look at you!" She exclaimed. "What happened? Where have you been?"

His eyes darkened, becoming nearly black. "So, so much has happened since I lost you, Addy. When I couldn't save Arthur, either, I didn't know if I could go on. I lost them all in the end. Gwaine, Gaius, Leon, Percival, Gwen. All gone." He turned away. "My magic has left me, Addy. I can't do it anymore. I just...don't have the _heart_ for magic anymore. The only thing keeping me going was the promise I made to you. To find you again. I've walked this earth for more than a thousand years waiting to be with you. But I'm old and so very tired. All I want now is to see you one last time."

Her heart leapt up and, despite his aged appearance, she fell into his arms. He was still her magic. She kissed him, holding no emotion back.

Despite the cold winter chill, a warm wind wound its way between them, like the first kiss of springtime. When at last she looked at him again, something had changed. The lines carved into his face were disappearing, so was the grey in his beard. In awe, she watched as he transformed before her eyes from an old man into the young man she had met so long ago.

"Merlin! You're young again!" She cried.

He seemed every bit as shocked as she as he patted his face and looked at his unwrinkled hands. "I don't understand. It's- it's like...My magic... Addy! It's back!" He shouted and swung her around. She laughed with him with an ease she had never felt before. "It was you, Addy. All I needed was you!"

He pulled her close and kissed her again. When at last he pulled back, he placed a hand delicately on her cheek and let it slide down until it came to rest at her neck, nestled in her dark hair. He sighed. "I've waited a thousand years to do that."

She burrowed deeper into his arms, still unsure if she was awake or dreaming. He smiled down at her, the years of toil and anguish gone from his face. "I guess destiny loves a happy ending, after all," she said.

-(0)-

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Epilogue

Thunder cracks the sky and rain begins to fall on the small island in the middle of the lake. It always seems to be raining on the island, even if it sunny elsewhere. It has become overgrown and lost in the tides of time. No one ever goes there. No one even remembers it's there.

Until today.

A lone figure stands on the shore, staring into the rain-pelted lake with faded blue eyes. He shivers as the water darkens his blonde hair. Uncertainly he looks back toward the island he has found himself on. In a loud, commanding voice, he roars, "MERLIN! WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES?"

**Author's note: Well, I hope you have enjoyed my story. When I was writing the ending, I was shocked to realize that I really wanted to do a sequel to this one. It's called "The Lost King" and it is finished and up now. **

**Now that you've finished my story, I would LOVE to hear what you think. ****Thanks!**


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